I have an unhealthy relationship with our bed. There. I said it.
I literately had to yell at myself to wake up and get my feet on the floor this morning. Which resulted in something similar to the kind of tantrum a toddler throws when they don’t get the toy they want. It’s a daily tug of war between my conscience and my sub-conscience, similar to the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Both whispering into my ears telling me to follow them, except the destination isn’t into a life of evil or good but into a dream world or the real world. Which without fail results in an in-between tossing and turning similar to falling and tumbling down the rabbit hole, losing track of time and space while insisting on falling asleep and forceably waking myself up at the same time.
This leads to some very strange dreams. Not exactly lucid in the sense of being so realistic, but realistic in the sense that I am usually half awake trying to wake the other half of me.
If I’m not going back to sleep directly from waking up in the morning, then a few hours later I am undoubtedly going to enjoy a “tupplur” or two, which is “nap” in Swedish. I’ve always believed a good nap can help, but not when they are so long and often.
I know a lot of people have trouble getting out of bed, like to/have to sleep long hours, love to nap, and have way worse sleeping patterns such as – oh I don’t know, insomnia, sleep apnea? It’s all very new to me though so bear with me while I indulge myself in this complaint.
This behavior (habit?) started once I moved to Sweden. Once it started I blamed it on jet-lag and an adjusting period, but it’s been two months. Additionally I’ve been here before, three times for two weeks and last summer for two months, it’s nothing too new. One of my big concerns with moving was that I didn’t want it to feel like a vacation. I told myself I would study and work as soon as possible so that I don’t fall into the habit of being a blissfully lazy tourist. Is that what I’ve become? The cycle needs to break! And it will once I start my classes in a couple of weeks, but for now I would like to try it on my own to prove that I can. (at this point the question is- do I really want to!?)
I’ve always been one to wake up at 7 or 8 am no matter what, even during the weekends and days I should stay in bed due to staying out too late the night before. It only makes sense that I wake up later as I am now going to sleep later than I normally used to, but it’s just not balancing out. I know that waking up at 10-11 isn’t the worst thing in the world (And I’m sure it sounds great to most people) but its the way I feel when I finally drag myself out of bed. I don’t feel rested, I feel exhausted and sluggish. I assume I feel this way because I slept too long. When do I feel rested? When I wake up to kiss my husband goodbye for work, that’s I should stay awake! Darn you shoulder-sleepy-time-devil! So, I’ve narrowed down a few culprits that have been pitching into this plot to keep me sleepy instead of awake and productive:
- My iphone. *First thing, a disclaimer if you will, I love my iphone and it was the perfect gift.* Having said that, I hate admitting it but half the pull out of bed is to check if there’s anything new brewing on the interwebs. I like to believe that turning on the computer is the first thing most people do. However, with my iphone next to my bed, I check it all while my eyes are half closed, then roll over and continue to snooze. Ultimately this results in forgetting what I read and failing to reply to emails.
Solution #1: No longer keep the phone near the bed. This is sort of like putting the alarm on the other side of the room so you have to get up in order to shut it up/off. Easy fix!
- Our bed. We have a bed that JUST fits the two of us, it’s not overly comfortable but its good enough. So…when hubby gets out of bed to go to work I stretch out, roll over a few extra times, hog the blankets and pillows, and have the whoooollleeee bed to myself. I love sleeping next to him, but c’mon we all have to admit its a good feeling.
Solution #2: Get new bed? Not sure. We’ve discussed it and of course we soon will, however…if the comfort level rises and the roominess also rises isn’t the chances of me EVER leaving the bed decreased!? Or maybe it will balance out. We will see.
- Our apartment. It’s small but cozy. We are comfortable and can easily function the space. I know a lot of people couldn’t and think its crazy, but we kind of like it. The only problem is that the bed stares at me ALL DAY. Mocking me. Beckoning me. Whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Mesmerizing me. Alluring me. Singing to me like a siren does to the soon-to-be ship wrecked sailors.
Solution #3: Move. Well, that seems harsh. And of course eventually it will be the bigger solution. However, I think I will try to fold the bed up into a couch every day as soon as I wake up, it is a futon after all – might as well use it as one. It’s kind of an annoying solution but perhaps it will be worth it.
Once the weather gets nicer I’ll spend more time outside (read: away from bed) and if that doesn’t keep me awake then we have some serious issues. Once school starts I will be forced to get up at a certain time, either to get to call or to get things done before class. It’s all about habit and schedule, things that I thought I would have by now that I will just have to create. I read a blog yesterday that suggested doing the most difficult parts of your day first, and I think its a great idea and will help structure my days a lot more. I’ll start my days off with Swedish instead of halfway through/end of the day/whenever I kinda feel like it, so I begin my routine with already feeling accomplished. Off to hit the books to give this a try! Hope everyone slept well last night!